Name: Dolores Agnew
School: Aurora High School
Hobbies and Interests: Magic, roleplaying, writing.
Appearance: Dolores is not a goth. People simply use the word because they are unable to really describe her any other way. Dark Natured is a better description. There's nothing really wrong with her appearance, no incredible feats of fancy or abnormalities with her body. Her pale skin does not leap to almost supernatural shades of white. Her clothes are not drenched in black, she does not have any piercings or anything of the sort. In fact, for a girl known for her unsettling appearance, she looks very normal.
Her face betrays her Asian roots. Her eyes are small but are colored a very bright green. They are rarely opened all the way, and there are constant dark rings present under her eyes, so she often appears very torpid. Her eyebrows are very thin, not playing such a grand appearance on her petite forehead. Apart from her eyes though, there does not seem to be anything grandiose about her face. She does not have any freckles or other markings, although there is a tiny mole placed under her bottom lip. Although she will claim otherwise, Dolores takes care of her face, stressing over any blemish that might pop up and getting rid of them quickly. As a whole, her face is very small and nondescript. Her lips are pale, a sandy red that Dolores has rarely assaulted with lipstick. Her button nose sits perfectly on her face, her cheeks don't stand out too far and her chin is chiseled down quite small. Her ears are small and nondescript, standing back and hiding behind her hair. Her hair is, at least naturally, a straight brown, ending at about the lower edges of her ears, enough to cover them from sight. The bangs that line down her forehead are long and are cut in a straight line. They have grown so long that they almost cover her eyes, but she refuses to cut it shorter. She hates her hair, and she doesn't want to change it, so she prefers to dye it whenever she can. She has decided on black recently.
From first glance, Dolores looks very slender. Even in childhood Dolores was not an active girl, and nothing has changed during her entrance into adulthood. She is 5'6", entering around 129 lbs. Her stature is very slim and her arms are stringy, so people tend to think that Dolores has a very small stature. What most people don't realize is that her upper body, legs and waist do have definition in them. She was cursed to have a body that could be considered attractive, with curves and attractive nuances that (much to her dismay) would definitely gain attention if she desired to. However, Dolores finds her body as a whole to be ugly and unsatisfying, and she cleverly hides these through her choice of clothing. She has good posture, and is rarely seen slouching. Her hands are thin, her legs perhaps a tad too thick for her liking. Overall, Dolores does not look like the troll she claims herself to be. One might consider Dolores to be very pretty in a dark, melancholy sort of way. People used to tell her how cute she was, when she was a little girl. Even now she has the capacity to be beautiful.
However, if she has ever realized this potential, it's clear she isn't very interested. The first thing people notice about Dolores is her taste in clothes, and it is also the first thing that makes most weary of her. There's nothing inherently wrong with the clothing choices. Surprisingly her clothes are rarely black, just shades of dark colors. Her favorite color of purple, and it is the first color that she reaches for. It's just that her clothes, combined with her pale complexion, the bangs that nearly cover her eyes, and the very unsettling smile that she forces, make people think twice before interacting with her. Her clothes tend to stray to blouse and sweaters, perhaps wearing both. She also has a love for skirts, wearing them every chance she gets. She has an affinity for wearing belts too, her favorite being a belt lined with spikes. She also wears black boots, normally wearing thigh-high socks with them.
Biography: Dolores Agnew is a rare native from Seattle. She lives with her mom. She hates her. She loves her father, who she hasn't seen for years. She hates her name too, and rarely tells anyone it. She goes by the username Clockwork_Gretel. She likes that name much more. That's why she normally goes by Gretel. It's what she tells people outside of school. Whenever someone doesn't believe her, she just shrugs. It's their problem, not hers.
Dolores was very weird during her childhood. Her childhood wasn't abnormal. If anything, apart from her above-average upbringing and extended family, Dolores has had a very normal life. She was born on December 31, five hours before New Years Eve. She has lived in Seattle for all her life. Her mother and father were teachers at a elementary school. They were together. They had Dolores ten years after they got married. The mother is named Deliliah and she taught fourth grade. The father is Harry and he taught fifth. The problems started with Harry.
Dolores did not have a great relationship with her mother. Far from it. They were off to a rocky start from the beginning. Delilah (the name itself agitates Dolores to no end) seemed more interested in her husband and her students rather than her own daughter. This was not the case of course, and like any mother Delilah loved her daughter more than anything else. She still does, despite the obvious setbacks. Her passion was for teaching though, and her family life always came second.
Dolores saw more of her father than her mother, and he is someone that Dolores admires to this day. Harry Agnew is an Asian-American, a novelist who is well-known for his horror books. He has hit the New York's Best Seller's list multiple times. He wrote his first book MONSTER when Dolores was five. He quit his job teaching when she was seven, though his new career wasn't the only reason for the departure. Dolores likes to paint him as an amazing person, someone who she wishes to emulate. As a child, Dolores thought fondly of him. Perhaps that's why she can overlook all of his faults, pretend that they don't exist. It has been many years since Dolores has last seen him. He contacted her several times early on, but now those housecalls and letters in the mail have all but dried up. This has done nothing to sway her opinion of him. She can still remember his face, even now. Harry was as close to a best friend she had when she was a child. Dolores still keeps a few of his books in the back of her drawer.
Her father took her places. Showed her what was outside of the house. Harry was never a firm believer of being held down, of staying in the same place for very long. Sometimes he would drive down to her Uncle Jake’s farm and stay down there for a few days. Sometimes he would take her to the park, and they would just walk together. Dolores was never a picky child. She was just happy to be with her father. The only time she dreaded going anywhere was to her annual family reunions in Kentucky. She hated them. She never liked the rest of her family. The only relative she liked was her cousin Louis, a boy five years older than her. Uncle Jake too, but he never got involved with the rest of the family. Uncle Jake was Harry’s brother, and he lived alone on a ranch. Louis was her mother’s nephew. He wasn’t a hick, he didn't like his extended family, and he liked magic. That was enough.
Uncle Jake died when she was nine. Louis ran away from home when she was seven. All the ties with her family are severed, and Dolores wished that her mother would let it stay that way.
When she was six, her father took her to go see a magic show. Purely mediocre stuff. Dolores was completely entranced and begged her father to go see another one. Harry took her to see six more shows in the next two years. A short time, but it had a profound effect on her. She goes to shows all the time now. Dolores calls it 'studying'.
At age eight, her parents divorced. There were lies. Infidelities. Harry was never such a great person, an okay father but a terrible husband. After the divorce, Harry went away to California with his new wife.
At age nine, her mother forgot her birthday. Things went downhill from there.
With all of the people close to her gone, Dolores was lost. She started to disconnect with other people. She stopped talking, not to adults but to everyone. Most children become shy when they turn a certain age, the mentality of "be seen, not heard" drilled into their skulls. This was different. She didn't stop talking because she thought she had to. Dolores chose not to talk. She ignored her classmates. She ignored her teachers. She ignored everyone, her mother especially. Dolores kept to herself in her room whenever she got home from school. Even worse, Dolores actually avoided situations where she would have to talk to Delilah. One word answers were the best Delilah ever received. Her mother started to take notice. She started butting in on what Dolores was doing. She asked her what was wrong. She told Dolores that she understood, that things can be very confusing growing up. She said that she loved Dolores. And Dolores did not believe her. She thought her mother was a liar. She blamed her mother for Harry's departure.
At age fourteen, she turned to her mother. She said that she was tired of her mother's shit, and that she wished she were with her father.
Dolores told her mother. "I hate you."
Her mother didn’t slap her, or scold her. She didn’t even cry. The argument just stopped. They never spoke of it again.
Their relationship crumbled. They barely speak to each other now. Dolores likes it this way. She doesn't have to be bothered with a mother who clearly doesn't care. Her mother still tries to find a way back into Dolores's world, with the family reunions and work for college, but she's isn't having any of that. Dolores wakes up early so she can leave without seeing her mom, and when she comes back home from school she locks herself inside her room. She doesn't care for what her mother thinks, and yet her mother just keeps trying to get through to her. She wants to help but Dolores just won't listen.
Dolores went into high school at age fifteen. She opened up a bit more, making a select couple of friends. She got good marks, not amazing but it was enough for her. Dolores was always a smart child, and even now she can easily ace any class that she takes. She is very logical and can analyze a problem thoroughly to best do her work. She has the tools to be successful. The problem is that she has no ambition whatsoever. She never does assignments early, always waiting until the last minute. Still, she manages to this day to float through school. When she first went into school, she tried not to make a splash. Now it's senior year, and so far that's worked. Most try never to bother her. She would be lying if she said no one knew her name. Plenty of people know her name. But names are like faces, masks, you can change them at any time.
Dolores has no aspirations for higher education. She's just getting bored with school. She doesn't believe that she needs the education. How the hell will Calculus help her when she becomes a magician? She wants to drop school, but she knows she won't go through with it though, at least not yet. Her father would have wanted her to finish high school. What would he think if he heard she dropped out? He would be disappointed. So she stays in school just riding it out until the end. There is a strand of hope buried inside of her, that tells her that if she graduates, her father might come to the ceremony. She hopes he will. She once emailed the address listed on his webpage, asking him whether he'd like to go to her graduation. He never responded. She figured he must be busy. Yes. He wouldn't just openly ignore her invitation.
As a whole, it isn't so much the events that changed Dolores into who she is, but more her reactions to said events. Her biggest problem is that she blames herself for things that are out of her control. She openly blames her mother for driving her father away, but secretly she scapegoats herself more than anything else. So really, her odd nature is a result from her own guilt. Many people are in the wrong when they just assume she doesn't realize how strange she is. That it just blows over her head and that's why she doesn't try to change. It isn't like that at all. She is convinced she is just different from others. That she is inferior, and that is why she can't become normal. She deeply believes that she appears different from all the rest of the dull, faceless people, but for the life of her she can remember why. The decision to become who she is, subconsciously, was her's and her's alone.
Misanthropic is Dolores's middle name, or at least that's the impression she gives. There was a time where Dolores was actually very enthusiastic about school, paying attention to every second in class, but even then she was quiet and prone to not participating. As the end of school draws nearer, Dolores is slowly beginning to question why she needs school in the first place. Nowadays she will have no qualms about sitting in the back away from everyone else. She'll zone out, make a little doodle on her notebook. Certainly not pay attention to the lesson or interact with anyone except the teacher if she really has to. She occasionally sits with someone at lunch, at other times she prefers to sit alone. She doesn't go to any clubs, although she does dabble with tabletop RPGs. School is just a sea of complete strangers, a sea of unreadable faces and Dolores has no interest in knowing them. She tries hard enough to get good grades, as Harry would have wanted, and skates through school with a minimum of fuss.
Her social life is pretty much the same, both in school and outside. She has friends, the ones with faces, but they are few and far between. The others, the ones without, just blur together, disappearing from her mind quickly after meeting them. She can't even recall most people unless there's a tic they have or their voice is distinct. The lucky ones are the people she actually wants to remember. It's not a problem with her looking distastefully down at everyone who she does not approve, although she does look down on people at times. Everyone just looks the same to her. It's why she never bothers with television. Too many plain people. Real life bores her, so she practices magic, plays on the computer, roleplays and writes stories. The spaces between those things are of no merit - the most you can find her doing is staring off into space, perhaps in thought. Sometimes one of those few friends might invite her to a party, and on occasion she'll take their offer. She'll go, hit the wall and pretend that she is a ghost. Conversations lead to dead ends, and Dolores does not want to bother with small talk, so it makes no difference anyway.
Dolores has had no use for boyfriends. She was once attracted to a boy, once, enough to want to start a relationship. Dolores was very young at the time, so she can't remember who he was, or whether the emotions were requited. She has had crushes before, puppy love affairs, but Dolores always turns these feelings down and ignores them. Sex is something Dolores dabbles in, but again she really has no use for it. On the few occasions she does have sex, it has been with a stranger. Normally it's a kid from outside of the school, most likely from one of these aforementioned parties that she goes to on occasion. She wouldn't consider herself bisexual. The word itself leaves a bad taste in her mouth - it's like calling herself a whore. Dolores isn't easy. If she wants to have sex, chances are she is the one who leads. She doesn't wait for people to come to her because she does not want the headaches caused by that line of action. Besides, she's afraid no one will take a chance. Dolores can be assertive when it is necessary or if she is determined. Love never enters into it, even if the other person feels otherwise. Hearing someone say "I love you" in the middle of the act is like nails on chalkboard to her. No strings attached. If she fucks someone, it's her decision. And if she fucks someone, she will make damn this is the first and last time. If her partner wants to keep in touch, she cuts the strings immediately and disappears. If they give her a phone number, she'll chuck it away. It has nothing to do with her being secretive or trying to hide her life away from her mother. Really, it's just to separate the act from the rest of her meaningless existence. Sex is just something to do, not a connection between people but a selfish thing. Dolores feels something from it, and that's more than she could say for everything else in her dull, gray life.
When she goes on the computer, it's much different. She doesn't just feel human there, she is human. She can breathe. She is known as Clockwork_Gretel in most circles, just Gretel to her friends. And she is a part of many circles.
In real life, socializing is hard. This is not the case on the internet. Gretel likes to talk to just about anyone. Her circle of friends is large. Her AIM is busting at the seams, and it's very rare not to see her in a chatroom talking to people. One of her best friends is Lenna Tycoon, and is one of the few people she has met more than once outside of the internet. She has no Facebook though. She goes onto roleplaying sites, forums mostly, writing with other people about varying situations. It's all for fun. Some involve structures, numbers and dice rolls. Others are simple collaborations with other people. These are always short games. They only last a few months. And if they last any longer, Gretel will normally move on to somewhere else. It's not that she gets bored, but it's just that she doesn't want to be held down. She deletes her contacts, except for the ones that she finds slightly amusing, and keeps hopping from place to place. She is not one-hundred percent computer literate, the in's and out's of the internet, and that's good enough for her. When she is out and about, she is normally seen with her laptop, a sleek black notepad that fits perfectly in her book bag.
People always tell Gretel how playful and fun she is, which pleases her and confuses her immensely. Needless to say she keeps her connections online 'online'. And under no circumstances does she show them even a snippet of who she really is. No real life details. No bitching about her mom. Not even her aspirations. In the past she has met a few outside of the computer. It usually never ends well. Conversations lead to dead ends, and Dolores hates small talk. Thankfully her actions in real life have never affected her on the other side. Regardless, her meetings with people always turn out badly. The exception, of course, is her friend Lenna, a very cheerful girl. Lenna insists on having Gretel call her by her real name but she just prefers the former. They've only met twice, and that's more than the average.
Roleplaying isn’t the only thing Gretel does on the internet. She is also a writer on MicroHorror.com. She goes by just Gretel there. This site dedicates itself to scary stories, otherwise known as creepy pastas. Gretel likes to call them just stories - the word creepy pasta is way too tongue in cheek for her tastes. Gretel is a very popular writer on the sight, having published countless stories. A few of her stories wiggle their way onto other areas on the internet, growing in popularity. Sometimes videos are made dedicated to them. Her name is rarely ever attached to these stories. Gretel is pleased by this. She isn't writing them to become popular. She finds pleasure in how people react to her stories. A bit morbid, yes, considering the subject matter goes into rather disturbing areas. She has a pretty strong stomach too, seeing as how she can read even more disturbing stories and not even flinch. She chalks it up to being an internet addict. It's an experience thing.
She doesn't want to continue doing this for the rest of her life. Writing these stories are a temporary thing. A hobby. Gretel is only a mask, just as Dolores is a mask. What Gretel wants, at the very least, is to get rid of the mask she calls Dolores. What Gretel wants is to leave Seattle. She wants to become a magician. It's been an urge that Gretel has had for as long as she could remember, and she's been practicing for that long too. She knows how to palm things in her hand, hiding it out of view from wandering eyes. Knows how to slip things without people realizing, palming it and hiding it from sight. She has never pick-pocketed anyone before, though the thought has crossed her mind at one point. She has studied many magic techniques, a few that she had to master through practice. The slights of hand were what really get her. She just loves to fool people into looking a certain way, perhaps at her eyes or an object in her opposite hand. She can make the impossible possible with a slight of hand. Coin tricks are her favorite. So simple in design, but can be so complex in practice. Sometimes she believes that practicing tricks like these are simply a way to distract herself. She tries not to think of that. Becoming a street magician is her goal in life. It's what she was born to do. Thinking otherwise would be silly.
She knows exactly what she wants. When she gets out of high school, she's leaving Seattle. It doesn't matter if her mom has a problem. She'll run away. Gretel is going to disappear, change the mask and move to Colon, Michigan, the supposed magic capital of the world. There is a huge gathering every year, with magicians from all over the world. Gretel thinks she can get a start there. All she has to do is finish high school. Then she can move on.
She picks and chooses who gets to see her tricks. She only shows her friends, the ones she especially likes. She shows them her magic. That's enough for her. There are a few close friends, but the others barely stand out to her. No one ever bothers to make friends with her, so why should she bother in return? Dolores unknowingly does everything in her power to drive away anyone who tries. Perhaps she doesn't notice that her tone of speaking, a very rude cocktail between narcissism and sarcasm, brooding at every syllable, could easily turn anyone away. She does not mean everything she says. It just sounds like it.
Dolores is just an odd girl. Her attitude and personality just rub others the wrong way. She tries to convince herself that this is fine. She doesn't need anyone for anything. The friends she has, the ones she made as Gretel, are the ones that matter. Dolores really believes that she is more mature than most girls her age. It's why she does the things that she does. It's why she thinks she's better than most. So yes, she is destructive sometimes. Who isn't? Sometimes she'll sneak out of class. Sometimes she'll meet someone from the internet, if they really want. Sometimes she'll go to a party, stand against the wall with a drink in her hand and pretend she's alone. Sometimes she'll have sex with a faceless stranger just because she wants to. On rare occasions she'll smile. And sometimes, when her mother is asleep, Dolores likes to stare up at the ceiling and wonder what it feels like to be human.
Advantages: Dolores is a smart, calculating girl who can analyze a problem from multiple sides. She is a master of slights of hand, and knows how to distract people in order to do things without them noticing. She has really no connections with anyone past a select few. She isn't disturbed by the sight of blood other morbid things. Trust is something Dolores doesn't give out for free. However, if she is willing to trust, Dolores can be a very dedicated and self-sacrificing person.
Disadvantages: Dolores is very stringy and out of shape. She prefers to flight rather than fight. She has a bad rap with most kids in her class, not to mention her habit of belittling others, so making new friends would be out of the question. She bottles her feelings and her problems up, preferring to keep a straight poker face, and truly has no real way of letting them out. She blames herself subconsciously for every little mistake she makes. Dolores is self-deprecating, believing that she ("Dolores Agnew") is inferior and broken, and could easily believe that there is no point in fighting to keep this persona alive.
Below is a list of threads containing Dolores, in chronological order.
Your Thoughts Edit
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