Rupert, South Park Style

Name: Rupert Stockton
Gender: Male
Age: 16
Grade: Eleven
School: Hobbsborough
Homeroom: Mrs. Laney's Homeroom
Hobbies and Interests: None

Appearance: Standing 5'11, Rupert Stockton is one who sticks out in a crowd, even though he'd not that tall. Simply put, Rupert is quite overweight. In fact, he weighs a rather unhealthy 391, and it shows. For some, obseity is caused by genetics, but for Rupert, it's that he just doesn't care enough to put good foods in his body and eats a diet of fast-foods and high-calorie snacks.

While being overweight is one thing, being slovenly is another, and Rupert describes that to a T. His dark brown hair is always covered in what seems to be a thin layer of grease, and his shoulders are consistently lined with dandruff - what dematologists would call a severe case. The skin on his face is pockmarked with acne, and is probably about as greasy as his hair, due to the fact that he doesn't wash his face. His teeth are stained yellow, and often when he opens his mouth to leer at someone, little bits of food can be seen sticking between his teeth. All in all, Rupert is not the kind of person who people enjoy being around.

Usually, Rupert is found wearing baggy black t-shirts, and a pair of jeans that barely covers his waist and often reveals a large plumber's crack when he bends over. His clothes often have food stains on them, and he wears the same clothes day after day. He has a pungeant oder to him, which some place halfway between brutal BO and dead fish. Rupert has a small amount of facial hair that he's never shaved, which gives him the stereotypical 'teen-stash'.

Biography: Rupert is a very angry boy. He is not antisocial, but does not enjoy the company of other people, and as such segregates himself from the mass majority of students in the school. Of course, due to his appearance and dishevelled manner, most students wouldn't be caught dead associating with him anyways. While Rupert is an unpleasant teenager, he isn't the school pariah, and sometimes lurks in the outskirts of a group of people, sometimes commenting on conversations that he's not a part of. He has a naturally argumentative nature, and deeply dislikes people who do not agree with his opinions.

In essence, Rupert is a jerk. People who have pitied him and tried to get to know him have quickly backed off, because they feel that there is not someone who can be pitied under there, for Rupert is so angry and abraisive. Rupert is not a stupid teenager by any means, and he is actually gifted with an above-average intelligence. However, his marks in school do not reflect this, as he can hardly write, and has horrible organizational habits. He has just never cared enough to give a crap in school, and while he manages to pass his classes by the skin of his teeth, most of his teachers do not understand why he does not apply himself. Rupert, however, is a closed book to everyone, and when it all comes down to it, is a very unpleasant individual who just doesn't care about anything.

Rupert is viciously opposed to homosexuals and bisexuals, and has been suspended on multiple occasions for attempting demonstrations in front of the school to try and get everyone who is gay or bisexual in the school ejected and sent to another school. He is constantly found making gay jokes, and displays a sheer hatred for gays, and anyone who associates with them and accepts them. He also despises the Catholic element of the school, and has also been in trouble on numerous occasions for spreading literature around the school that denounces Catholicism.

Most of the gays and most of the Catholics in the school do not approve of Rupert and several members of both groups have attempted to have him expelled from the school, both unsucessfully.

If one were to really enquire as to why Rupert Stockton is the way he is, they would have to look no further than his family life. Of course, they would have to examine that life and take it apart very carefully to discover the source of his misery and hatred.

Rupert lives with both parents, and his older sister, in a regular house on a regular street in suburbia. All, on the outside, appears well, but internally, this is not the case at all. When Rupert was two years old, his father began to molest him and his sister on a weekly basis. Young Rupert had no idea what was going on, and often became very upset and confused. When he began to cry, his father would yell at him and tell him that 'boys didn't cry' and if he were crying, than he were 'not a man, and was a fag'. This verbal and sexual abuse continued all the way through Rupert's childhood. His mother was powerless to do anything, for she too, was held hostage by this monster of a man that held every inch of power in the household. Rupert's mother was a weak woman, who was initially attracted to the power that her husband exuded, but soon learned that this was a gross mistake. She never said anything due to the weakly beatings that Mr. Stockton would give her - beatings that were expertly delivered so that they would 'never leave a mark'. You see, Mr. Gregory G. Stockton was actually OFFICER Gregory G. Stockton, and no one was the wiser as to what he was doing. On times, he would rape Mrs. Stockton, and continue to molest his children. When Rupert was five, he was forced to watch his parents have unconsentual sex, which scarred him deeply.

When Rupert turned eleven, he began to enter puberty, like most boys his age. His sister, three years his senior, had already began to mature, and Officer Stockton continued his horrific behaviour. He would continue to call his son 'gay' and tell him that he was a horrible man, and that he should have 'been a woman because he was such a pussy'. When Rupert was twelve, his father forced him to have sexual intercourse with his sister, and then with his mother. This continued for about a period of a month, until Rupert's sister attempted suicide. Officer Stockton kept this under wraps, but the verbal abuse continued. His sister soon became bulemic, unable to cope with the constant sexual and mental abuse. Officer Stockton continuously called her 'fat', even though she was actually quite a good looking girl.

While the reprocussions on Rupert's sister proved to drive her to lose weight, Rupert's internal psyche was battered into the ground time and time again. Rupert became convinced as he got older that he was a worthless excuse for a human being, and he internally began to hate himself. In fact, he despised himself. When his sister became bulemic, and Officer Stockton found out, he pressured Rupert to eat all of the food on his plate (which was quite a bit), causing Rupert, formerly a relatively unactive, slightly overweight twelve-year-old into a morbidly obese sixteen year old. Officer Stockton continued the sexual abuse when Rupert turned fifteen, forcing him to recieve oral sex from his sister and mother, and to humiliate himself and the rest of his family. Rupert became even more resentful, and one day when he was fifteen, in a moment of power, he finally confronted his father about his horrific treatement of the family. The answer that his father got before punching him and then sodomizing him was that 'God made me do it'.

This continues to this day.

Rupert is an extremely self-loathing individual, and believes that his life is worthless and that he is literally a waste of space. All the years of abuse have battered down his capacity for rational thought, and have turned him into the person that he is today. As mentioned before, he severely hates Catholics and gays, and refuses to admit that he himself is gay, even though he believes it to be true (which it actually is not). Rupert is not a violent person, and has never struck out against anyone, but keeps most of his anger and rage towards himself pent up inside of himself, expressing it by making others feel awful and putting them down.

Rupert is unable to have any kind of relationship with a female, as he is so confused and messed up due to the acts that his father forced him to perform with his immediate family. Nobody has a clue that this has happened, but Rupert does not even look at girls, or even guys for that matter. He simply hates everyone, and everything, but mostly, himself.

Rupert is a compulsive liar, and will often lie because he can. He lies quite a bit without realizing that he is actually lying, and will often believe his own lies. This is a bit of the reason that nobody has ever found out about the truth behind his family situation.

Advantages: Rupert's pent-up anger will do him well in SOTF. The pure hatred that courses throughout his veins will likely boil over with disturbing results.

Disadvantages: Rupert's weight could be an issue as far as mobility's sake. He is a strict enemy of every single hardcore-Catholic and gay student in the school and hates every single one of them as much as they hate him. He has a LOT of enemies. Rupert has never struck out against anyone else before, choosing instead to punish himself - whether this will continue is unknown.

Number: Male Student No. 69


Designated Weapon: Stiletto (Knife)
Conclusions: Well, if B69 somehow can't bring himself to end the lives of his classmates, perhaps his BO will do the trick. Really now, maybe we should've given him a bar of soap as a weapon. Rupert seems the type to go on a witch hunt of sorts. He better hope those Catholics he hates so much don't pray to their God to smite him.

The above biography is as written by Adam. No edits or alterations to the author's original work have been made.

Evaluations Edit

Kills: None

Killed by: Mariavel Varella

Collected Weapons: Stiletto (Knife) (Assigned weapon)

Allies: None

Enemies: None

Mid-game Evaluation: Rupert awoke on the island, bouncing off the ground from his drop off the airplane thanks to all his fat, much to his embarassment. Soon chancing across Jonathan Michaels in the corn field he began to verbally assault him, unaware that Jonathan already had two kills under his belt. Jonathan made this fact clear to him whilst aiming a shotgun at his head, but decided to spare him anyway as the announcements came on and revealed the two people he had killed to the rest of the island.

Rupert spent the rest of his time wandering around without incident until chancing upon Mariavel Varella in the hotel. He attempted to ambush her with his stiletto knife, but with her newly acquired pistol from murdering Alex Ovechkin she ruthlessly shot him straight in the chest, walking up to his downed form to fire a few new fatal holes into his body.

End-game Evaluation: It looks like Mariavel's daddy issues gave her the edge over pussy here. Gave her a much better figure too. No big loss with Rupert's death, unless we're counting size.

Memorable Quotes: " all seriousness, this ACTUALLY Survival of the Fittest, or is Ashton Kutcher going to jump out of a bush and tell us we've been Punk'd? I really don't know what the fuck is going on..." - To Jonathan Michaels, right before Jonathan threatened him at gunpoint.

Other/Trivia Edit

Threads Edit

The various threads that contained Rupert. In order from first to finish.


Version II:

Your Thoughts Edit

Whether you were a fellow handler in SOTF or just an avid reader of the site, we'd like to know what you thought about Rupert Stockton. What did you like, or dislike, about the character? Let us know here!

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